How Solopreneurs can benefit from Answering 20 Couple Questions -20

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Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:00:02

When you're building your business solo, your relationship, especially if you're working from home, becomes your foundation, and your safety net. Now here's the thing, while pouring everything into our business venture, our partnership with our husband, our wife, it often becomes something that's running on autopilot. You may talk logistics or better schedules. Maybe what's for dinner? But when was the last time you had a real in-depth conversation about how things are really going in your relationship, in your entrepreneurial journey? When do you share about what's really going on? We've talked about how your business is like a personal development right on steroids and how your personal development also affects how well your business does. Although, sometimes we wish they had nothing to do with each other. Right? So today, I'm sharing something different. A very vulnerable conversation I had with my husband, Robie. I have another podcast, The Grit Show, and it's over a 100 episodes in, and he's never been a guest until this conversation.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:01:05

We took a 100 conversations on 20 questions to a year well loved. We don't get to nearly that many questions. You may not either. Right? We're busy. However, it's a great framework and a great conversation and a modeling of the importance of really touching base with your partner because they are your primary support, especially if you work from home and don't get to connect with as many others as you'd like to. We have a solopreneur sisterhood. Right? So you have more people who understand exactly what you're going through. But your primary relationship, your living partner, the person you spend the most time with is somebody you need to be able to connect with.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:01:41

And that's why I decided this is a useful conversation to bring over to this platform as well. You'll enjoy it. Welcome to Authenticity Amplified, your resource for attracting and connecting to your ideal client. The go to podcast for entrepreneurs on the go to grow their business. I'm your host, Shawna Rodriguez, podcast strategist and the founder of the solopreneur sisterhood. I'm here to bring community to the entrepreneurial journey and learn alongside you as we tap into knowledge and insights from experts to help you grow your business. I know how much effort you put into your business, and this is useful and practical information coming straight to you wherever you are, whenever you have the time to listen. Let me share a little bit more about why this conversation is particularly crucial for us as solopreneurs before you listen to it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:02:33

We're gonna acknowledge something we don't talk about enough. Building a business can be incredibly isolating, and our partners often bear the weight of our dreams, our fears, our uncertainties. There are unofficial business therapists, cheerleaders, and reality checkers. Even when we don't give them all the details and they don't understand all the ins and outs of exactly what we do, they are the person that we often are faced with at the end of the day when we've had a hard day or a great day, that we're celebrating those wins with or hitting with those challenges. But how often do we check-in on how that role is affecting them? What they think about it? My partner has been amazing. I'm about to go on a retreat for women in business, and I'm supposed to be on airplane mode for 6 days. I went on my honeymoon, and I didn't go on airplane mode. I still checked in my business.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:03:23

I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around that, but that's how supportive my partner has been. Yet, we did talk before our honeymoon on our honeymoon about how that affected things, but that's a conversation we should be having regularly. And in this episode, my husband shares some things that's taught me my tracks. Very intimate moments where he felt most loved and supported by me that surprised me. I've been worried the last few years of of this business, which if you listen to the episode on the word of the year not that long ago on this podcast, you know this business is part of me postponing our wedding an entire year. It takes a really strong relationship and an amazing partner to understand that I need to savor our wedding and I needed that time and I need to focus on growing my business and we ended up moving and there needed to be a little more time so it could be everything you want it to be. This conversation actually helped me realize how strong my relationship is even with how drained I am by the business at times. We're doing better than I thought, which is a good thing to realize.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:04:22

But maybe one of the reasons why we're doing well is that I come up with crazy things like 20 questions for a year well loved And have a husband who I can give a space to be reluctant about it and permission to not do it if he doesn't want to, who comes around and has a conversation with me, not only answering the questions, but answering them on camera for our podcast. He hates being on camera. He hates having his pictures taken. Let alone being on video. That was a first for him. As solopreneurs, we're experts at setting business goals, creating action plans, and measuring success. But how many of us apply that same intentionality to our relationships? When was the last time your partner sat down to really discuss how your business dreams align with your shared future? I actually have someone I work closely with who is great about doing that and is inspirational and helpful for me to wanna do the same. It's helpful to have people in your world like that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:05:14

So that's why I'm encouraging you to have this conversation. I wanna be that friend like that other friend was for me, an entrepreneur. I wanna be that friend to you like my other friend was for me as a fellow entrepreneur, encouraging those conversations and making sure on the same page about your business dreams and goals and how they align with the life you both see for yourselves. Right? This conversation isn't just about business. It's about connecting in our relationships and understanding how our entrepreneurial journey shapes our partnerships and vice versa, and how we connect and support each other and can see some of the beautiful ways to be grateful for each other and how we're doing well. So we can measure that as well. Right? So through these questions, we discover patterns we've never noticed, challenges we've never named, and strengths we taken for granted. So for those of you thinking, my partner would never have this kind of conversation.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:06:04

Trust me. I get it. Robie was the same way. What happens episode shows exactly how pushing past that initial resistance or fear will be actually admits it as fear. You can share that part of the conversation with your partner if that's helpful. What Happens episode shows exactly how pushing past that initial resistance can transform not just your relationships, but your approach to business too. Whether you're just starting your journey or several years end, this conversation will give you a framework for having these crucial discussions with your partner. It's nice to have questions somebody else provides at times.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:06:33

Because here's the truth, the strongest business foundations are built by folks who have strong relationships. So whether it's your partner or others in your life, you need strong relationships to be successful in business. And this is a great opportunity to have an example of these conversations that can help build the strong relationships. If you're an Apple subscriber, you also get the bonus conversation where I share more about the importance of my partnership and me being in the business I'm in and doing what I'm doing. Hopefully, you'll find it inspirational and helpful. So listen to how this conversation unfolds, and then you can download the 20 questions. Or if you want, just a sample of questions to see how you wanna start things out and start your own dialogue. Your business and your partnership will thank you for it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:07:20

You're starting about 16 minutes in the conversation. We did a little rambling at first that had to do with the other podcast, and you're starting right in to where we start the questions. So let me introduce you to my husband, Robie. Let's get to these questions. I'm excited for these questions. And these questions for anyone who's listening, there's actually a link in the show notes so you can get a copy of these questions as well. So other people can get these same questions. I don't know that we're gonna get to all of them.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:07:45

There's 20 of them, which is a good amount. And there's, like, a nice little guidance to talk about, like, when to do them and to, like, you don't have to do them all at once, and that you're supposed to be relaxed and hurried or whatever else. And they're kind of broken up into 4 questions per category, 5 different categories. And so we're gonna kinda go through them. And when you do it, the intention is that you answer both of you answer each of that. But for the sake of time or whatever else, we're gonna go through and just ask each other back and forth the questions so we can review them.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:08:15

And I just before we get started, wanted to say that I had the opportunity to read through these or even have them printed out so I would have them ahead of time. And I chose not to, because I want a genuine reaction to it and not my brain coming up with the perfect answer, if that makes sense.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:08:32

So I may pause and I may look confused as I try to figure out what I'm going to say. But I'm going into this blind. Yes. You can embrace that. Because this is the kind of thing that would normally cause me great anxiety.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:08:44

Embrace them, embrace them. And you guys, I give up other questions. But I didn't rehearse answers to them. So that means you feel it, but if I didn't put thought into answers to them, I did put thought into what the questions might be. So kind of that helped to like because I love I love conversations that, like, dive deeper and do that. Obviously, I have a podcast. And we just had to pause our moment too because this is, yeah, not your not your thing. You are one of the people that helps to point out that I ask a lot of questions.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:09:12

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:09:14

And those things that you love you love me wholly, and this is part of me to accept this. But if there was one thing that you could have less of with me, it'd probably be the questions.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:09:24

I think in general, not you. I'm just talking in general. I'm not a deep questioner. I I don't even know how to how to say that. Like, I question the world. The universe. The universe. Like, like how things are made, how things are done, but I don't think deeply about relationship, people.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:09:46

That's just not my jam. And learning to reflect. Now, I have always felt like I'm a pretty good reflector of myself because I constantly feel like I'm working on me because there's never a finished product. Yeah. But I don't think about that beyond me. Yeah. Anyway, it's just an interesting, interesting dynamic. And sometimes I'm exasperated by it.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:10:11

And then a week later, as it burrows into my brain and then comes up with really cool things, I'm like, Oh, yeah, that was actually really neat.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:10:20

Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:10:20

So my natural reaction is usually like, oh, again? Yeah. That's just my natural react. And I love that that doesn't fluster you. Right? Like, you just feel that that's how I react to it. And probably, I hope, realize that, oh, he'll get there eventually. Like, down the road, it'll because I'll never not pay attention. I will let it marinate in my brain until my brain comes up with something.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:10:44

Yes.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:10:44

My initial reaction is gonna be like, then I'll be like, oh, that was really cool. I'm glad we could that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:10:51

Yes, yes.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:10:52

I've had this. I've mentioned to her. She loves to paint. And I am very critical of myself in most things, but in art, especially because I was a math kid, a sports kid. And art was not something I ever felt good at. So she's like, Hey, do you want to paint and 99 times out of 100? I'm like, No, no, I want to pay. And yet, I've told her multiple times that when I am like, Yeah, let's go ahead. Like, I end up having a lot more fun than I thought I was going to.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:11:23

So your questions are a lot like painting for me. And the initial reaction is like, I'm not gonna like this.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:11:29

Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:11:30

And then I go, oh, yeah. I really did.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:11:31

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And kind of one of our fun jokes is that is almost like, I don't even bother. Like, why do I even bother asking? Because, like, he'll go to work, and he'll tell me, oh, such and such, and tell me this, such, or something. Like, oh, such and such is going to the coast this weekend. I'm like, oh, we're out on the coast. He was like, I don't know.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:11:47

Why would I know that?

Robie Lawrence [: 00:11:50

I was always like, I didn't ask. If they wanted me to know, they would've told me.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:11:54

Why would I ask that?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:11:55

And to me, I would always follow-up. I just, like, go ahead and ask this. And because I have my guests at work and work from home and do the stuff that I do from home, like, I don't interact with a ton of people. And so I was like and he works with amazing people. They enjoy it. Good. So I was, like, asking about that medicine. Like, I'm on that bad.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:12:14

I have no idea.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:15

And a I still always ask the follow-up questions, and then we'd laugh at the fact that why I still always ask the follow-up questions and he never has.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:12:22

Or I say, wow. That's a great question that I probably should have asked. It never occurred to me.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:26

Never heard of anything about it.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:12:27

You could probably assume I'm disinterested in their lives. Deep house. Because I never asked.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:34

Is that right? Yeah. But it's just different ways their mind work. Whereas, when it comes to asking questions about the universe and how things work on this level, like, you have so many more questions than I have. Right. And so many more ways of putting things together and ways of thinking through why this might be happening with those other pieces that I just don't put brain power into. Right. And so we just had different things to hook brain power. Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:12:56

Our focuses are different. Our brains work differently. And that's We appreciate that about Well, I absolutely. Yeah. And it's having a partner who is different than thinks differently than the way I do, has actually opened my world up in ways that I never imagined would be as cool as they are.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:13:12

Yes. And we don't take it personally, which I think is the key to it that we find humor and enjoyment in the fact that

Robie Lawrence [: 00:13:18

There is a lot of laughter. Yeah. I think that's important.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:13:21

Yes. We appreciate that. Alright. Let's dive in. So the first category is growth and evolution. So how have you grown individually this year?

Robie Lawrence [: 00:13:32

Ah, I am going to and a lot of these answers are probably gonna have to do with being married. I did. I don't know if Sean has mentioned this. I assume she has in her podcast. But there was a time where there was jokes about wedding glow Robie.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:13:48

Yep.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:13:48

And it may not be as obvious now, but it still exists. And so my individual growth this year, like, on the largest level, is of being a husband, but not the husband part, more of understanding that you love me even when I'm not doing correct thing. Like, I will fail, and that's not gonna change your love for me. And I think that has been the biggest that we've mentioned wedding Globey, but I've never dove into what to you what I thought I was. I know. That's what it is. Like, I am a pretty confident person. Most people would say that they see of me as somebody who's very confident.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:14:36

Mhmm. This is the first time I have ever have ever been less fearful about being rejected.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:14:45

No.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:14:46

And so probably multiple times in our relationship, I've still harbored this fear that at some point, you're gonna wake up and realize I'm not the one. And then Mhmm. On. And I didn't even realize how that would feel once we got married and that went away, if that makes sense. For me, that's the individual growth, if that makes any sense whatsoever.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:15:09

You have the unconditionally. You're stuck with me.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:15:12

Mind blowing. Yeah. I'm not performing for you. You've already accepted me. Makes sense. Because I often feel like a lot of what I do feels performative.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:15:25

Mhmm. Yep. So anyway

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:15:28

Yeah. No need for that. Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:15:30

And that's amazing.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:15:31

It's been nice to meet number 2.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:15:33

Number 2. What is the biggest change you have noticed in our relationship? Hi, Mikko.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:15:40

We are our case, we talked about either putting them upstairs or letting them come and join us. So one of our cast is trying to join us, so that might happen. What is the biggest change I've noticed in our relationship? I think probably, like, exactly what you're saying. Like, that wedding glow, Robie element, which we got married and we got back from the honeymoon and, like, stuff was in a fan for me. Like, I literally had, like, a credit card stolen and health stuff happening with family members. I had stuff happening with staff. I mean, my business days are going, like, sideways. And then Robie was mister.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:16:17

What? What is this? So I think, like, this this, ability for you to hold, like, this positive with outlook and this this change that is it's not what I expected. Like, I didn't expect us to off level by getting married. Like, we've been together long enough. Been good long enough. We have this incredible our relationship is already more than I ever expected.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:16:45

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:16:46

And already such a gift as a bonus. And then to, like, have things, like, after the wedding, crumbling and have positive partner that like, like, with a lot of great qualities, but that having one of them

Robie Lawrence [: 00:17:00

No, no. Positivity. I don't really feel like I'm a pessimist. But I feel like the things that I get from the world are run through a filter of realism in my head. Because I I'm aware of how things can go wrong. But I've become a more positive person since we got married. I wouldn't call that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:19

So it's is, like, there's a funny, like, bonus thing that I just did not expect for that to happen. So that's been, like, this kind of fun bonus. So there's lots of great elements for a relationship, but I did not expect that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:33

One of them. And actually, because I think that a lot of times in life, we'll get married, and then they just it feels like they discover negative things about their partners. That makes sense. Like, the mask falls off somehow with people.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:46

Mhmm. Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:17:52

That's funny.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:53

That was like that. That was great. That was kind of I think that was the element that was strategic with this extra bonus level of positivity that I just didn't expect. So it was kind of this nice little bonus that we got in our relationship. And I think that we continue to get stronger, which we were already pretty strong. I know you hear people say that stuff like, I didn't take the love. You anymore.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:18:18

You're like Right. And you're only around the age of you. I don't. Okay.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:18:21

Everyone will Yeah. Well, I we understand. We don't like, we you can roll your eyes like you wanted us. We understand, and we sound ridiculous sometimes, but those things are true.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:18:30

Yeah. Hang on. And that it irks me a little bit, they're true, if that makes sense. You know? Like, when you watch the romcoms and people talk about that, you're just like, oh, come on.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:18:39

Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:18:41

Now you have to be like, oh, well, it does that. Thank you.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:18:44

Yeah. I saw that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:18:45

I think that made possible. Okay. So there's 2 more questions here, but we're going to skip over the next two questions and go to the next area just so that we can get to all the areas. And so emotional connection is the next section. So what moment this year made you feel the most loved?

Robie Lawrence [: 00:19:02

Oh, that's a good question. This is going to sound interesting maybe, or feel not important. But when I finally caught COVID for the first time, And I don't have a lot of memory of the night when I first got sick. I just was miserable, and I just remember being in tears. And I don't cry very well, that's not true. I cry during movies and commercials, like emotional cry. I don't cry from pain. Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:19:32

And I was in severe pain. Yes. Because for me, the first thing that happened when I caught COVID and my temperature spiked was all of the joints that I've had surgery on and injuries to suddenly hurt maximally. And so being in bed at 2 o'clock in the morning and crying and you just holding me, I feel like it's something I haven't had since I was a child and my mother was holding me.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:20:00

Mhmm. If that was Yes. You go. He goes in the highs when he's sick. That's okay. You should come to anyone near him. Like, he will let him know what his man cave at our last house, like, downstairs, far away hidden when he's sick.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:20:12

Yeah. Yes. And so for me, I feel like looking at that question, people want to hear some more emotional depth to it. But for me, it was more It's emotional for me because of being able to be miserable physically and be able to express that and not be judged for it, which could be a whole other level of discussion of me. But again, it's not something I felt a comfort from somebody else when I'm expressing that emotion, probably since I was a young child. You know, I say that like young, young child because when I was 6 and I hurt myself, it was suck it up. Yeah. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:20:58

Like, boys don't cry. All of that. So young child. Yes. Yeah. So I don't even remember the last time I felt that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:21:06

No. Yes. I have to throw in a tiny story that Robie had shoulder surgery a few summers back. Mhmm. And we went to go ahead the surgery. Like, he was actually and I could tell, so I asked us, do you want me to leave? And he was more comfortable with me leaving presurgery because he's done so many surgeries, and he's done them alone. Right. He's been alone.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:21:26

And I used to be the only person in my family that everyone has there when they're getting your surgeries done or when they're getting medical stuff done. This stays at the hospital supports everyone. So it's really hard for me to not be there, but I could tell that it was harder for him to have me there Right. Than for him to be alone because he's in a he had no he's in a profession. Like, he Yeah. Supports people through that stuff. And so he's comfortable around other medical professionals when he's preparing for surgery or pain or dealing with that stuff. But he was not controlled being around me when he was getting ready to go from his surgery and doing that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:21:58

So it really does show the trajectory of our relationship even that you could let me comfort you and be there for you when you were in that place too. So Yeah. Thank you for saying that. You're welcome. Mary, that means a lot to me at.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:22:11

I wouldn't have done that other way. Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:22:13

You're welcome. I'm gonna skip the next question

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:22:16

Okay.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:22:17

Just because I really like this. What small gesture of mind meant the most to you?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:22:22

Oh, you are so good at doing little things. And it's so funny because I'm going to go to broader little things. This is the funniest thing ever. There's the a joke that we have about I don't remember which movie is about a girl who leaves glasses of water everywhere that are half full.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:22:38

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:22:39

But I leave half full. I have bottles of water that I like to have in the fridge that are full. And, like, Ruby would always fill them up and put them in the fridge for me without me even knowing. So, like, he has these little ways of taking care of me, like, he does without even knowing. But I think the most recent little small gesture of yours that you did is when I this makes you sound ridiculous, but I couldn't find, like, 3 pairs of my earrings or favorite pairs of earrings of mine. And I finally mentioned to Robie, and it sounds really good I mentioned to Robie to say, like, I can't find these earrings. And there's this pair, this pair, and this pair, and he knew which pairs they were because he was intended to be my silly earrings. So, a, you know what pairs of earrings I was talking about that I couldn't find? I was like, I don't know, like, if I've been traveling.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:23:26

I left them somewhere. Like, I've looked at my bags. Like, I've I think it's been, like, few weeks now. I've been able to find them. I missed my earrings. Like, I know what's happened to them. And he immediately found them. It's embarrassing because I actually I hung up.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:23:42

I hung up this thing. I had a whole pair of, and I put them on the right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:23:46

Yeah. And they were hung up.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:23:48

So actually, I would think, and they would feed outside find them easier, and I'd lost them till 3 weeks because I never looked at the place holding them up.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:23:54

But he instantly found them for me too bad. We think it was just the fact that I could tell those little things, like, I can't that's why I make the babies for 3 weeks.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:24:02

He knew what I was talking about. He took the time to look for them and found them. And even, like, today, like, when I was doing stuff for the podcast, I can come over and plug these in. And I could just ask you for help, the silliest little things, and you always just, like, jump to it to help me out with the silliest little thing. My love language is access service. It comes to play here. Look, you always just jump in to help with the silliest little things.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:24:27

See, I think you have 20,000,000 things now. And so Christmas Eve, I was driving back from New York, and I made up a menu for Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner. And we were having a friend over Christmas Eve. And the Christmas Eve dinner was the one that I was supposed to do. He was just at Christmas day. And so I had weird things on there, like carrot souffle and bacon wrapped cream bean lentils and stuff like that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:24:48

Like, because I don't bake very often, so I was excited to cook and make those things. But I was not 2 hours behind because that happens when I go to an organizing family. I get into work next there. And so I called and was like, I don't know. Like, we'll push our guests back a little bit. And he's like, oh, I'll take care of it. I'll cook it all. And he'd never cooked those things before, and he just made them and just made it happen and did it resolish. And he went from meat volume to the carrots.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:13

He just. Okay. You just picked up, and you did a great job, and you were even bothered by, like, coming over work and then having to, like, make this messy dinner that I contacted when I was making it. So it was, like, all those little things that you just, like, step up and step in without ever blinking, and I totally appreciate that about you.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:25:30

Well, thank you. I'm I enjoy doing it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:33

Well, I enjoy doing it.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:25:34

You too. The funny thing is is I'm a contrarian, and so, like, if I was required to do that sort of thing or told to do it, I would resist, and I'd grumble inwardly at least the entire time. I enjoy doing it for you. And I also enjoy because you appreciate it. Right? You have a frustration for it. So that, I don't know, that works very well. Yes. That makes sense.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:58

You very much do. Yes.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:26:01

How he's decided to make himself a part of this?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:26:02

His love is coming his laugh, and I'll try to speak into the microphone. So if you get a meow, you know you know who's contributing because he definitely wants to be part of it. I love this. I like that. Thank you.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:26:13

You're welcome.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:26:14

Okay. So we both got one from emotional connections, so we're gonna jump over to challenges and resilience. And so I'm gonna go to I'm gonna ask number 10. So when did you feel proudest of how we handled something together this year?

Robie Lawrence [: 00:26:28

I'm gonna need a moment to come up with it. So I think you're aware of this. Sort of how my brain works is when a problem arises and then is resolved, I forget about it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:26:40

Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:26:41

Like, it's erased because whatever reason, my brain just compartmentalize that and it's gone.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:26:46

Yeah. Done.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:26:51

So I can't even think of any issues. I love that. If And legitimately I'm trying to think of, like, a troubled time that we overcame.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:03

Oh, then can I steal the question?

Robie Lawrence [: 00:27:04

No. Please do.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:06

I'll totally steal the question then. I think I've been proud of how we've handled our families together.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:27:13

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:14

And that goes that goes to the wedding even, like, how we handle something. I think that we both, because I think that with our our families are both complicated, but I think that we do such a good job of, like, respecting each other, taking the lead on untangling things that comes to our family, but both having immense empathy for what the other one is dealing with individual situations with our family, good and bad.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:42

Like, you know what I mean?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:43

But I think that I feel like we've matured along our relationship in that way with those pieces, and that goes, like, with how for the wedding and Right. Who's invited and not invited, like, how you linked to all those new pieces to, like, even determining, like, how stuff handled with us because we spent Christmas here because of your work schedule, but we sought to get some stuff down there, like, how we handle those things. Like, I feel like we've just done such a great job of supporting each other with those things and understanding, like, the way we do that. And I have I really respect and appreciate that you get how much I love my family, and I wanna be there for them and do things for them. And let me do that and support me doing that because partners who really resent and get frustrated and were my family taking advantage of me. And you are my most fierce protector. Like, you let me care about me and whatever else, but at the same time, you get my love for my family, desire to do things for them, and support that at the same time as protecting me, supporting me in this beautiful way that makes me feel supported.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:28:46

Mhmm.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:28:47

So I guess I'll be there for them, but still feel and protect at the same time. You do a beautiful job of balancing that. I feel like that that's, like, the way that we come together, and I feel like we do that together. Like, I feel like you're an absolute ally in all of that. So somebody who's so wrong with my family, they run the other way. Or somebody who's, like, pushing you to protect me so much. Or this is how it's been.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:29:09

You know, so we try to protect you so much. They're, like, causing division to make it harder on me to support my family. Right. Or somebody who's, like, so wrong by my family in writing the other way. That's what I've experienced a lot in relationships, and I feel like you do the great middle ground with all of that.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:29:22

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:29:22

And I feel like even and, of course, speaking for myself, that even, like, with your family that we can do we do things in a great way that we do it together?

Robie Lawrence [: 00:29:30

Well, I was gonna say that I feel similar with my family, but especially I think about my mother. Mhmm. You may not agree with how I handle my relationship with my mother. I've never asked. But you let me have that relationship the way that I need it to be. And if you feel the need to interact with her more or do things with her, you do. But you never make me feel like you're pushing me to do those things, if that makes sense. You accept that the relationship I have with her is what it is.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:30:05

And again, in a very similar way, I appreciate that. As opposed to you need to spend more time or you need to call or you need to that would just irritate you to no end. And I appreciate that you're just like, yeah, that's just the way you have your relationship.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:30:20

Yeah. So I think we do good with that.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:30:21

I think we do as well.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:30:23

Oh, and look, we can It was like just entirely living.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:30:26

Get out of the way. Just entirely with that.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:30:27

I like this. Okay. I'm gonna skip to 12.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:30:32

Okay.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:30:33

What made you feel most supported this year?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:30:37

Oh, actually, I answered the last question. I get to ask you a question.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:30:40

Yes. You did answer you asked the question, but then you answered it. That's a good point.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:30:44

That's a good point. Okay. So then we'll just turn that to you. So what made you feel most supported this year?

Robie Lawrence [: 00:30:50

It's not gonna be a single moment. Yep. Mico.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:30:55

Back on the paper.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:30:56

Back on the paper, like, trying to get my hand to pet him. For me, it's multiple things over the year. And it is it sort of hearkens back to what I talked about earlier, is it's the constant support you have given me in moments where I would have expected to either be ignored or not supported or negatively reacted to. And I'm trying to think of an example or a specific example, but I can't. But what I can tell you is I've thought to myself multiple times that for a person who expects a partner to react the worst possible way, you consistently react in a way that's better than I could have imagined. And if I would have thought of the right reaction, it's even better than that, if that makes sense. So I have been notorious for choosing bad relationships.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:31:58

Mhmm.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:31:59

Which is why I chose for a long time to not be in a relationship because I didn't trust myself to make choices that were good for me because I'd made so many bad ones. Mhmm. So my expectations in a relationship tend to lean towards negative. And over and over again, when I'm worried about your reaction to something and expecting something negative, you consistently give me more positive than I even could have imagined it would have been. I just find that fascinating. And it and it leads into what I talked about before in that I feel so supported that it blows my mind that it's even possible. So a relationship can be infinitely greater growth as opposed to a ball and chain, or it's not a weight.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:32:56

It's uplifting. And I was aware that could be, but didn't imagine I would ever be in a relationship like that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:33:05

Yes. See, I had a hard time imagining all of that was even possible. Like, I know that we have all that, but it's so funny that, like, when you try to, like, think of the relationships that you admire, that it was hard for me to, at times, like, look at relationships I admire. And sometimes you didn't see them as fully as you could. Right? Right. But it was it was hard. So it's been so amazing to, like, discover our relationship. And then it's made it easier to see all the positives and other relationships that we've had this relationship.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:33:31

It's just amazing.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:33:32

And this is a deeper discussion, not for us. But I feel like we live in a society that benefits from making people more aware of divisiveness than togetherness. On TV shows, the husband and wife are usually divisive. Yes. They're not together. Relationships are divisive. Political things are divisive. I just feel like our society is very focused on pulling people apart instead of putting them together.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:34:07

And so you don't often see the benefits of a healthy relationship.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:34:11

Oh, they would never make a reality TV show about us.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:34:13

It'd be so boring.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:34:14

I don't know.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:34:15

I would hate it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:34:16

Because there's, like, no. There's not enough, like they would try to come up with ways to make it more interesting because You're not.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:34:24

But it might be, no.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:34:25

I have enough things to be divisive about.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:34:27

And the reality is for sure, we don't always get along. Yeah. It's important to have things.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:34:31

In the reality.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:34:31

You know? There's parts of your personality that that shit. Yeah. And there's parts of mine that are the same way, and that's okay. And we're going to sometimes handle those differences well and sometimes not so well. But we never allow either of those options to be the focus or the central part of our relationship. Yes. And I think that goes back to the trust factor. I trust that you love me even if you don't like certain parts of my personality or certain reactions that I have to things.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:35:08

Mhmm. There's a freedom in that trust so that I'm not defensive all the time.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:35:16

And I hope you feel the same way, but that is something that I didn't expect.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:35:21

Yes. Well, I think the challenge with all that is when we don't have enough of those examples, because my closest friends get the most up close view to our relationships. Mhmm. And my closest friends are constantly commenting on how much they get out of that. Because even hearing the stories, and I can't think of any of them right now, but even when I'm frustrated with something with you, the way that I hold it and the way that I feel it and the way that I experience it is so much different than they're used to seeing and experiencing and having conflict with relationships. Right?

Robie Lawrence [: 00:35:54

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:35:54

And so people don't have examples of that. And so that's part of the challenge is that people don't have examples of that.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:36:03

Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:36:03

And my closest friend's view of that. And we don't have books and stories and TV shows and movies and whatever else that show enough of that. And probably because it's not interesting. I don't know. Like Well,

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:36:18

I would say Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:36:20

It's for the same reason that the news doesn't give you positive stories. Yeah. People are more engaged by negativity. They're more likely to tune into it for whatever reason. I'm not even gonna go into human nature.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:36:34

Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:36:36

But you're right. People don't have as many positive things out there and probably because positivity doesn't sell. It's probably You know?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:36:45

Another bummer. That's what I want more of.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:36:48

Me too. Yeah. You know, we sat down last night and watched Inside Out 2.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:36:55

Uh-huh.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:36:55

We had the option to watch whatever movie, and Sean was like, what would you like to watch? This or this or this? And I really wanted to see Inside Out 2 for that positivity. I knew that it was gonna be positive.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:37:07

And it was, like, one of the top movies of the year, wasn't it? Or one of the top movies of the year?

Robie Lawrence [: 00:37:11

I assume it was. Was it last year or the year before they came out? I don't even know. I can't believe it was the last month.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:37:16

Year, and I feel like I've seen some headline in my opinion.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:37:20

Like, it broke some record or was a top move for the year, something I saw on some headline for the year. So that's a

Robie Lawrence [: 00:37:24

Well, yeah, it's but I look for the positivity more, you know, because I negative around. And I love negative stuff as much as anybody else when it comes to entertainment. Right? Yes. But, yeah, sometimes I just wanna see that, like, positive, uplifting watching romcoms, like Yeah. People laugh because I tell them that I watch lots of romcoms. I even did before Sean and I got together.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:37:49

Mhmm.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:37:50

And the reason for that is, you know, at the end, it's gonna be a positive, uplifting story about love, which even if I didn't believe even more ironic.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:37:58

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:38:00

It's still nice to see it.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:38:02

Yes. This is amazing. We are gonna have to cut this episode into 2 episodes because we are we are going to give you guys the last two categories, but we are going to get this into 2 episodes. And so we are going to come back so you guys can finish having more of this because this has been such a great conversation. Thank you so much for doing this, and thank you guys so much for listening in on this. This has been this has been lovely. I love this, and hopefully everyone listening has enjoyed this as well. You guys can get in the show notes, you guys can get this entire all twenty question once we've been speaking over as well.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:38:34

And I wanna hear from folks too about what you guys thought of this, what you got on with this.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:38:38

I'd be interested in thank you for asking me to do this. Because as we mentioned, this isn't something I would ever choose, to do or have the idea to do. And I've enjoyed it. So my expectation of having a miserable time and to lay it out there, more miserable time because I'm so worried about I don't think I look good, I don't think I speak well, all of the things that would cause me anxiety over it manifesting in I'm on screen. Yes. Yeah. But I enjoyed it very much. And I found myself not thinking and focusing on those things.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:39:14

Oh, I'm glad. Yes. Not focusing those things is the key to probably part of that. Excellent. Well, good. Well, definitely, we will be back then so you guys can hear the last two categories of communication, understanding, and future and aspirations, which future and aspirations is the one I'm most excited about, obviously. 2025. We wanna get into this next year.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:39:32

So thank you guys so much for being here with us.

Robie Lawrence [: 00:39:34

Thank you.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:39:36

Are you excited to hear the second part of that conversation? You are at an advantage. I timed the release of this so that the second half of that conversation has already released on The Grit Show. So you can go right over to The Grit Show and check it out if you'd like to. Either way, you have a good sense of what the conversation was about and are hopefully encouraged, maybe even inspired to give it a go with these questions with your own partner. Soleopreneurship is hard. We talk about that. Having a partner you can communicate with is critical to your success. Communicating about these things, starting with these questions is a good way to exercise those muscles.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:40:12

You may not address everything and that's not the point. It's starting to open up those pathways and starting to acknowledge the ways that you guys can connect better and be of good support to each other. We want you to be in your best space and this is how your business succeeds is when you were in that best place. We've talked about that emotional placement. Right? So go download those questions and use them as a tool to keep building. And for those of you that are subscribers on Apple Podcast, as I mentioned, I'm going to spend a little more time with you sharing more about the fact my supportive partner is one of the only reasons I have my own business and the importance of that. So thank you for being a subscriber, and I hope you get something out of that. If you need a little more courage to get your partner on the same page, you go over to The Grit Show, listen to the second half, where we talk some more about his hesitance.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:40:56

Maybe there's something your partner needs to hear from him. Or maybe if you listen to the way he talks about it, like, give you the words it'll help you frame it better for your partner. Thank you so much for being here. I'm very grateful that you took this time to connect more with your business and with improving things so you can do all you can to amplify your authenticity. I'll see you next week. Isn't there so much for us to learn on this entrepreneurial journey? Thanks for spending time with me here on the Authenticity Amplified podcast. It is a joy to grow together with you. If you're interested in learning more about the subscription on Apple Podcasts so that you can get up close with our guests and gain additional insights and wisdom, as well as get your episodes 2 days earlier, Be sure to head over to Apple Podcasts.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:41:48

Subscribing is also a fabulous way to support this podcast so we can keep producing this valuable content. Don't forget to pass this along to someone you know who could benefit from one of the many nuggets of wisdom and value you gained from this conversation today. Until next time. Remember, just because you are a solopreneur doesn't mean you have to do this alone. Keep being authentic, authentic to who you are, what you bring to the table and to this work, and the impact you will surely make. Until next time.